The Act Of Not Giving Up

As I sit here, in an empty studio room. I find myself contemplating what I was really called here to do on this earth? Surely it's not to waste my time with people that don't respect it? Am I a little angry. Absolutely. I have worked my butt off to create what I have done. A book. A podcast. A brand! And when someone does not respect my time, it hurts. Just to provide some context, I was just stood up for a podcast episode. One of many.  But this time felt different. I felt almost, forgotten? Wow, it has been a long time since I have felt this way. I wonder what it is about this time thats bringing this up for me?

Anywho, this is the second time, in a row and honestly with all the transitions in my life it just feels so. much easier to give it all up. Stop trying to promote my book and the possibility of it becoming a movie. Stop telling my story as if anyone cares and don't even bother to put effort into that podcast because no one is listening...

To write this is to see my pain, and frustration right out in front of me. It is to put my bare feelings out on display to show no matter how good we may show the world we feel on the outside, we truly are hurting on the inside. I've known this reality for quite some time. Its a constant battle to find our self worth in this world. I'm sure there are others who don't have the same problems, externally. I just believe it all manifest in different ways.

So so the point of why I'm writing this as my first blog post AND introduction to this page. Well because I wanted to show a real side of me. Life hurts sometimes. Sometimes it hurts alot. But there are so many lessons in life that show us how to pick ourselves up and continue forward. Am i still disappointed, yeah. A deeper feeling of exclusion is happening within me and honestly its making me feel terrible about myself. I want to cry but also don't know how to. It's all confusing because honestly I'm just trying my best in this lifetime. 

So to conclude, I hope you all are being mindful of how you are treating people in your life. It doesn't even have to be family, but PEOPLE. I think we tend to forget that we are all brothers and sisters, and the more we take a divided approach to solving the issues we see in our life, the more we truly be a beacon of hope for the ones who truly need it. Be kind, if it is the one thing you take away from this post. XOXO 

-Devon